Sunday, September 8, 2013

What Do You Crave?

"Discipline is trading what you want now for what you want MOST."
     I've had to be really honest with myself these last couple of days and I think I have something seriously wrong with my priorities. On days when I can't run, I get cranky. When I was injured and couldn't run for about a month, it got really ugly (like eating an entire bag of candy corn within about 2 days all by myself, ugly!). But this Saturday I realized I had gone the entire day without praying once and I hadn't read my Bible in over a week! I wasn't 100% sure I even knew where it was.

     This realization upset me. But not as much as I think it should have. I have been making adjustments to my life, being much more proactive - making meal plans & sticking to them, making a training plan & actually fitting it into my daily schedule - even doing some cross-training and strength building! I am so very proud of these changes I am making, don't get me wrong. But I feel like I have completely neglected a major part of my life.

“Look for God. Look for God like a man with his head on fire looks for water.” 
― Elizabeth GilbertEat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia

    Spending time with God, in prayer, in meditation & reading, requires me to be still. I used to think running would count as prayer time, or when I'd be in my car on my way to work. But honestly, I'm always distracted doing those things. Why is it so hard to just be still? I totally relate to the mediation part of Eat, Pray, Love with the whole being still thing. I think, somehow, although running does allow me to relieve stress, sometimes it creates another source of stress! Am I going to hit my goal pace? Am I going to be able to run the entire distance? Push harder! Go farther! Go faster! Sometimes these thoughts crowd into my mind while I'm running and then that peaceful time to myself becomes stressful.

This is how it feels WHILE I'm running..... and when I get back, it's all still there waiting for me! Running doesn't make my problems go away. I've got to keep working out and strengthening my ability to let go and give it to God!

   I think being still is the only way to fix this. Running obviously isn't conducive to peace and prayer time for me. I'm too competitive. I might as well admit it and accept it so that I can move on! I still love running - that hasn't changed. But, I want to crave peaceful, quiet time, reading & praying, more than anything else. That needs to be my priority and I think everything else will find its place. Getting my day started in the right way will help my heart and mind be prepared for the day. With so much uncertainty in my life right now, I need to be full of as much love, peace and joy as possible!!

{Running gives me the outlet for all of the emotions that I feel during the day, but don't necessarily express. Running gives me an outlet for my incredibly competitive side so that I can NOT be so competitive in other areas of my life! ;)}

Do I need to run? Yes. But I also need to remember that I need God more.
Whew! It sure felt good to get THAT off my chest!

Do you include quiet time in your day?

Do you have a favorite 'life lesson' movie (or book)?  Obviously Eat,Pray,Love is one of mine. I know it's a book too....I need to read it so I'll feel a little more sophisticated. Life lessons sound better when you say they came from a book rather than a movie, right?! :)

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